


brought me out of my chrysalis

by ginnydear



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Coming Out, Domestic Fluff, Family Fluff, Fluff, Future Fic, M/M, Spierfeld Week, homophobia if you squint, this is.... a work of my own art and a piece of my heart is in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 14:45:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14334750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginnydear/pseuds/ginnydear
Summary: "No one tells you that coming out is this... continual process that you endure for seemingly the rest of your life,” Bram says softly, and Simon squeezes his hand.coming out, together, over the years. spierfeld week, day seven.





	brought me out of my chrysalis

**Author's Note:**

> this is it folks. the end of spierfeld week. it's been really fun to put pieces of my heart and soul into these fics, and i know i'll probably write more sometime soon, but for now i'm going to let my brain relax. 
> 
> shoutout to [caitlin](http://ginnyweaslays.tumblr.com) as always for being a hype man and an excellent beta reader. ily boo. 
> 
> title if from butterflies by kacey musgraves. give it a listen.
> 
> edited 4/27 for typos and word changes.

**Eighteen.**

Bram’s in the bathroom when the server comes over to their table, two new glasses of water in her hand. She places them down on the table and moves the empty glasses to the edge, clearing up the plates as well.

“Do you need anything else, honey?” she asks Simon, and he looks over at Bram’s spot for a moment, thinking.

“I’m not sure,” he says, smiling kindly at her. She just nods her head, picking up the dishes she’s stacked and giving him a smile.

“I’ll come back when your friend’s back,” she says, and Simon fish mouths as she leaves, wanting to correct her but realizing the moment’s passed. He’s still staring at where she’d been standing when Bram slides back into the booth across from him, looking at Simon carefully.

“Si?” he asks, and Simon looks at him. He shakes himself and leans forward on one elbow as he slides his other hand across the table to tangle his fingers with Bram’s.

“Does anyone ever like, call me your _friend_ and you want to correct them?” he asks, and Bram tilts his head, his smile somewhat sad now. He squeezes Simon’s hand and sighs before he speaks.

“All the time. But sometimes, I just… don’t want to come out, again. No one tells you that coming out is this... continual process that you endure for seemingly the rest of your life,” Bram says softly, and Simon squeezes his hand. It’s then that the waitress comes back over to the table, her eyes narrowing in on their clasped hands. Simon makes to separate, but Bram keeps his hold on him.

“Did y’all need anything else?” she asks, and Simon can’t read the expression on her face.

“No, I think we’re finished,” Bram says politely, and she nods at him. She reaches into one of her pockets and produces their check, placing it face down on the table.

“Pay up front when you’re ready,” she says, pausing for a moment before smiling at each of them and walking away. Once she’s out of ear shot, Simon looks at Bram.

“It’s a continual process made easier when you hold my hand,” he says, and Bram throws his head back as he laughs, squeezing Simon’s hand gently. And, yeah, Simon thinks. Much easier.

**Twenty.**

The wedding is outside but it’s spring, so Simon doesn’t complain much about his cousin’s life choices. He is, however, judging the wedding band’s rendition of a _Beatles_ song when Bram comes over and sits down next to him, tie still in the tight knot from earlier that morning.

“Bram, babe, this is the reception. You can loosen your tie a little bit,” Simon teases, and Bram rolls his eyes. He reaches up and pulls at it a bit, and Simon just laughs. His tie has been mostly undone since the second wine cooler they’d snuck off the refreshment table. His dad’s tie is in his back pocket. The groom’s tie is on his head.

“It’s about the look, Simon,” Bram says, picking up his water glass from the table and taking a drink. The sun’s beating down on the white tent and making everything a little warmer than it actually is, and Simon just wants to get away for a moment.  

“Want to go throw rocks at the ducks in the pond?” Simon asks, and Bram looks horrified for only a moment before he realizes what Simon’s actually saying.

“I’d love to go for a walk around the secluded pond with you,” he responds, standing up and straightening out his shirt. Simon reaches up and places his hand on the slight curve of Bram’s waist, gripping slightly. Bram wiggles a little and Simon takes a moment to admire his boyfriend in his fitted shirt.

“Are we going, or ogling?” Bram taps Simon’s cheek, and they laugh together. Simon stands and straightens his shirt as well, and they smile at each other before Bram slips his hand into Simon’s and they walk out of the tent.

It’s cooler out in the open air, and they swing their hands between them as they head down the property the wedding is being held on, towards the pond that’s enclosed by a grouping of weeping willows. There’s people milling about, and Bram’s acutely aware that he’s the only person of color at this wedding.

“Simon, dear!” someone calls, and Simon stops walking to turn and look over his shoulder. He squeezes Bram’s hand, not in a loving way, but as a warning.

“Aunt Madeline, how are you?” Simon says as a short, portly woman walks over, her eyes shifting to Bram before she pulls Simon down into a hug.

“Wondering why Maddie had to get married in such a rocky place, my knees aren’t getting any younger,” she says, and Bram feels infinitely invisible as she focuses all of her attention on Simon.

“It was a beautiful ceremony, though,” Simon says, and Aunt Madeline narrows her eyes at him before she laughs and smiles. It’s very Southern.

“Did you bring a date with you, honey?” she asks, and Bram feels Simon tense next to him. But then Simon’s pulling on Bram’s hand and Bram smiles at the older woman. She looks at him critically.

“Aunt Madeline, this is my boyfriend, Abraham,” Simon says, and Bram can’t even be mad at using his full name. She’s staring at him still, so he holds out his hand.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he says, using his customer service voice. She reaches out and barely touches his hand, her face still twisted.

“Likewise,” she nods, and then she pats Simon on the shoulder.

“Don’t be a stranger, dear,” she speaks this only to Simon, and then she’s moving away from them back up towards the tent. Bram can feel the tension building in Simon’s shoulder so he pulls on his hand, moving back down towards the pond.

“Don’t apologize for her,” Bram says, and Simon sighs heavily.

“She’s the… worst one,” Simon says, and Bram smiles at him reassuringly.

“If out of a crowd this white, that’s the only bad egg, it’s not so bad,” Bram jokes, and Simon stops walking to rest his head on Bram’s shoulder.

“Well, I still love you,” Simon looks up at him and Bram smiles. Aware that Aunt Madeline is probably watching somewhere just out of earshot, speaking in the way Southern Belle’s do, Bram leans in and kisses him softly.

“I’d sure hope so,” Bram says when they break apart, and Simon pushes him gently.

**Twenty-seven.**

Simon’s aware that he’s staring, but most of him doesn’t care. Bram’s telling a story to a group of his coworkers, his face expressive and open as he retells something embarrassing from his first year of law school. Bram realizes Simon’s looking at him and he looks over quickly, shooting him a wide smile before going back to the story.

Bram finishes his story and the group dissolves into laughter. Bram reaches over and puts his arm back around Simon’s waist, pulling him close. Simon knows most everyone in the group gathered by first name, and he easily sinks into Bram’s side, slipping his hand into Bram’s back pocket with a smirk.

“How much longer do we have to socialize?” Simon leans up to whisper in Bram’s ear, and Bram grins at him. He turns his head to look towards the clock, and Simon’s eyes linger on the locs Bram has pulled back at the base of his head. He’d watched as Bram’s mom had helped him loc the hair he’d been growing for a few years, and tried to learn. He thinks he’ll get it someday.

“At least another hour, love,” Bram says sincerely, and Simon purses his lips a bit. Bram squeezes his side.

“Office politics,” Simon jokes, and Bram laughs as he presses his lips to Simon’s forehead. The action seems to have drawn the attention of one of the women standing to Bram’s left, because she turns to talk to them.

“So, you guys have been dating since high school?” she asks, and they nod. She makes that face most people do, of wowed disbelief.

“It’s actually ten years, this year,” Bram says with that soft smile, and Simon feels his cheeks heat up slightly. They smile at each other and someone’s cooing at them.

“Wait,” an older lady has walked over, and by the way Bram’s hand squeezes Simon, she’s not here to coo over them. “You’re gay?”

“Caroline,” the first woman hisses, and Caroline glares at her.

“I’m sorry Amanda, I just thought they were friends,” Caroline says, looking over at Bram and Simon. They’re standing as close as two people can in a social setting without being labelled inappropriate, and Simon’s hand is subtly gripping Bram’s ass. Simon almost laughs.

“Yeah, I’m gay Caroline. I’ve told you about Simon before, called him my fiancé,” Bram says, and Caroline blinks slowly before she brings her hand up to her face.

“Oh, wow,” she says, and then everyone’s laughing.

“I’ve always been very open about the fact that I’m engaged to a man,” Bram says, and Caroline just nods, looking slightly uncomfortable. Simon only feels marginally bad for her as everyone razzes her.

“What kind of law does she work in?” Simon asks Bram quietly, and Bram laughs.

“Environmental,” Bram says, and Simon chuckles.

“Figures.”

**Thirty-two.**

Simon twists the wedding ring on his finger as he walks from his car into the school, Bram’s directions bringing him to the kindergarten classroom easily. There’s a lot of noise coming from inside and Simon smiles as he opens the door. The room is full of kids and parents alike, the kids over excited after the first day of school. Simon smiles at a few other parents as he moves through and then his daughter spots him.

“Dad!” Alice yells, causing at least one parent to jump. He crouches down as she runs over to him, lifting her up into his arms easily.

“Hi honey,” he says as he holds her close, her arms locked around his neck. Bram had told him she’d cried when he’d dropped her off that morning, so Simon’s extra aware of how she’s holding onto him.

A woman with a clipboard walks over to him, smiling at him kindly.

“You must be her dad,” she jokes softly, and he nods. Alice pulls her face out of Simon’s neck and looks at the woman with her head on Simon’s shoulder.

“I’m Miss Kelly, your daughter’s teacher. She was a little upset when she was dropped off, but she did well the rest of the day,” she says, and Simon bucks his shoulder until Alice is giggling and sitting up on his arm to glare at him.

“Stop it dad,” she says, but her face has gone from a blank slate to happy, and that’s a win for Simon.

“Did you have fun today?” he asks, and she nods slowly.

“I made new friends,” she speaks quietly, and Simon smiles at her.

“Did you? Your papa and I are going to ask you plenty of questions over dinner,” he says, and he watches the teacher’s face go on a journey.

“Where is papa?” Alice asks, her face going sad. Simon uses his free hand to touch her cheek.

“He’s still at work, but when he gets home, I think he has a surprise for you,” Simon says, thinking of the plan Bram had come up with to bring home flowers for Alice, a way of congratulating her on doing so well. It also might be a way to assuage his guilt for leaving her while she cried, but Alice doesn't need to know that.

“I need to get my stuff,” Alice says, wiggling enough that Simon sets her down on the ground. She disappears towards a row of cubbies on the far wall, and Simon is left with Miss Kelly.

“When did she stop crying?” he asks, and she sighs heavily.

“It was about an hour before she even spoke to anyone. We have a couple school aids that come and help on the first day and she sat with one of them for a while to acclimate. The man who dropped her off-“

“Her papa, my husband,” Simon says easily, and she stops for a moment before speaking again.

“My apologies. Your husband mentioned you adopted her only a few years ago and she’s still dealing with some attachment issues, so we’re going to make sure we keep the aid she likes around to help,” Miss Kelly finishes, and Simon smiles at her.

“That’s wonderful to hear. Bram felt terrible about leaving her here, crying,” Simon says, and she nods empathetically.

“It’s the biggest struggle on the first day of school,” she says as Alice runs back over, her backpack held in one hand, and a piece of paper held in the other.

“Dad, I drew something for you,” she says, holding up the paper for Simon to see. He crouches down again and smiles at the two large stick figures, a smaller one, and then what he assumes is a dog.

“Is that us, honey?” he asks, and she grins at him.

“The Greenfeld-Spier family,” she says brightly, and Simon almost cries right then and there.

**Forty-four.**

“Papa, I don’t think you get this,” Alice is saying as they get out of the car, shutting their doors at the same time. Alice walks around to wait for Bram at the front of the car, rolling her eyes as he grabs a sweatshirt from the back seat.

“I actually think I really do get this,” he replies as he pulls the sweatshirt over his head, pulling his locs out so they hang down his back. Alice bumps into him as they walk and he wraps his arm around her shoulders.

“It’s not that big of a deal to sleep over at a friends,” she says, and Bram chuckles.

“You and Cassidy aren’t just friends,” he says quietly, and she blushes high on her cheeks.

“I hate how perceptive you are,” she says darkly, and he laughs.

“You might be able to pull one over on your dad, but I’m a lawyer. I’m trained to pick up on bullshit,” he says, and she squawks at him as they look up at the bleachers. Bram finds Simon in the crowd instantly, and he nudges Alice. She sees her dad then and lights up, breaking away from Bram to make her way through the crowd.

“You’re late,” Simon says softly as Alice accepts the kiss he presses to her cheek before moving to sit on his other side. Bram sits down next to him, rolling his eyes.

“The clock hasn’t even started yet,” he rationalizes, and Simon levels him with a glare.

“Noah was looking for you guys in the stands,” Simon whispers, and Bram feels slightly guilty.

“Well, I’m here now,” he says, and Simon pats his knee. Bram reaches over and slides his hand into Simon’s, slotting their fingers together. Simon smiles at him as Bram brings Simon’s hand up to his mouth, kissing the back of his hand gently.

“Do you guys ever stop?” Alice jokes, and Simon loops his arm around her shoulders.

“Alice Greenfeld-Spier, don’t you know any better?” Simon asks, and she laughs at him. Bram watches them both with a smile on his face. He sees the woman in front of them turn around in his peripheral, and he turns to look at her right as she opens her mouth to speak. She shuts it when he looks at her, only for a moment.

“Are you Noah’s family?” she asks, and Simon nods at her carefully.

“My son is Winston, they’ve become fast friends,” she says, and Bram and Simon nod in recognition. Alice has mentally checked out of the conversation, staring off across the field.

“He’s mentioned him before, nice to meet you,” Simon says, shaking her hand. Bram just smiles, and he watches in slow motion as her eyes flick to their hands.

“He’s a wonderful boy. Winston tells me he’s always befriending people who don’t have any friends.”

Bram and Simon share a look as they burst with pride for their son.

“He’s a good kid,” Bram says with fondness in his voice, and the woman tilts her head. Alice has checked back in now, and she leans forward to level the woman with a look.

“My dads sure raised us kids right,” she says casually, and the woman finally gets it. She doesn’t say anything though, nodding at what Alice said.

“It appears so,” she laughs before turning around. Bram looks over at his daughter, and she shrugs.

“It’s fun,” she says softly enough that the woman won’t hear, and Simon barks out a laugh.

**Fifty-seven.**

Simon rolls over in bed, his hands reaching out to find his husband’s warmth. Bram’s laying flat on his back, one hand up on his chest and the other stretched out over the edge of the bed. Simon moves through the space between them and curls into his side.

Bram wakes up slowly, and within ten minutes, he’s rolling over and wrapping his arms around Simon’s body. The sun’s beginning to peak in through the curtains they’ve pulled tight, and Simon’s surprised neither of their alarms have gone off yet. He can hear the dog moving around downstairs, but then Bram’s hands flatten on his back and he looks up.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Bram’s voice is rough this early, and Simon leans in to kiss his husband’s chin.

“What time is it?” Simon asks, and Bram squints over his shoulder at the manual clock they keep on the wall.

“It’s after eight,” he says, and Simon frowns.

“Our alarms didn’t go off?” he asks, and Bram shakes his head.

“I turned them off last night,” he says, and Simon huffs out a laugh.

“And why?”

Bram slides his hand across Simon’s back, over his arm, and up his neck to cup his face gently. Simon’s breath hitches in his throat, and he closes his eyes as Bram kisses him gently.

“It’s been forty years.”

Simon stares at him for a beat until he realizes what day it is, and he gasps softly.

“It’s been forty years…” Simon trails off as Bram pushes him back on the bed until Simon’s laying on his back and Bram’s hovering over him.

“We’re old, babe,” Bram says and Simon smacks his chest.

“We aren’t that old,” he says, and Bram reaches up to touch the side of Simon’s eye.

“You’re one to talk, your beard is going gray,” Simon says, and Bram raises an eyebrow.

“You said you liked it,” Bram sounds petulant, and Simon reaches up to cup his face.

“I do, I’m sorry,” he bends up and kisses Bram’s cheeks. Bram laughs breathlessly, collapsing gently onto Simon’s chest. Simon pushes up until Bram rolls back onto his side, Bram’s face still hidden in Simon’s chest.

“I can’t believe we’ve been together for forty years,” Simon says quietly, massaging the back of Bram’s neck gently.

“We’ve been coming out together for forty years,” Bram pushes himself up so they’re nose to nose, and Simon grins.

“Remember that time Noah’s third grade teacher called me the nanny,” Simon says, and Bram laughs so hard he coughs a few times.

“That was one of the worst. Up there with the woman who didn’t believe that I was, in fact, Alice’s papa and not her kidnapper,” Bram rolls his eyes, and Simon frowns.

“That one was racist _and_ homophobic,” he says, and Bram leans forward to kiss the frown off Simon’s face. When they look at each other again, their faces soften and they melt into their embrace.

“I’m so proud of us,” Simon says softly, running his fingers over the soft skin of Bram’s side.

“We’ve made it,” Bram says, and Simon shakes his head softly.

“We’ve made it when we reach fifty years,” he whispers, and Bram nods.

“Fifty years of a continual process, only made better by holding your hand,” Bram says softly, and Simon recognizes the words from somewhere. When he looks into Bram’s eyes, he knows his husband is repeating something he said forever ago.

“Much better,” Simon says, slotting their fingers together on top of the covers.

 

**Author's Note:**

> come send me prompts on [tumblr](http://emilyspier.tumblr.com)
> 
> this fic is loosely related to my other fic, [in all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14636535), in the sense that this fic and that fic fit into the same future universe. give it a read if you want.


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